Friday, September 28, 2012

Every Film I Watched in June:

  1. A Cinderella Story (2004) - tedious reworking of Cinderella as Valley High School Teen Romance. Boring, predictable and utterly forgettable. The box of the DVD had a review on the front describing the film as 'harmless'.  Accurate but I do wonder what the other press reviews were like if this was the most enthusiastic praise they could find to sell the thing.
  2. The Fifth Element (1997) - fun.  Number One Daughter spent the next few days yelling 'Bada-Boom!' at every opportunity.
  3. Warlords of Atlantis ( 1978 ) - Friday night fun with the kids.
  4. Sir Henry at Rawlinson End (1980) - A film I have been wanting to see again for years and today I find it on the shelves of The Works. I giggled myself stupid. Mrs JM stared at it in stony faced silence for 20 minutes then rolled over and fell asleep.
  5. Kiss Me, Kill Me (aka Baba Yaga 1973) - semi-surreal lesbian erotic BDSM arty Italian Euro-sleeze voodoo cobblers based on a comic book:

    I think I want to read the comic book more than I want to see the film again.
  6. The Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer (1970) - not as funny as it could have been fag-end of the satire boom.

    Satirical tits.
  7. Star Wars II : Send in the Clones - Gods, what a dull film! Lucas has a real tin ear for dialogue.
  8. The Double Life of Veronique (1991) - having been intrigued by the soundtrack for a couple of years it was a joy to finally see this. A beautiful film.
  9. Pluto Nash (2002) - Ah well. I had heard it wasn't good but it was more than not good; it was awful. I don't think I have had my intelligence insulted so often in so short a time for quite a while, and I watch some real mind-bogglingly stupid films. Which is a shame really because the writer's previous film was the slightly brilliant Mystery Men. Nothing worked. Nothing. Apart maybe from the sexy 'female' robot, she had a nice bum. But when it gets to the point that the best thing you can say about a film is that a bit part player had a cute arse you know you're in trouble.

    Please don't look at the plot, look at my bum!

    I watch plenty of films where nothing works and often the fun to be gained by watching them is by being surprised by the new and interesting ways the wheels fall off. In this film nothing worked so predictably it was boring. Watching people spending stupidly vast amounts of money ($100,000,000) on a mediocre script is not amusing.
  10. The Missionary (1980) - mostly because I'm reading Palin's diaries of the period and mostly because it's a funny little film.
  11. The Last Mimzy (2007) - a not bad kid's SF film based on a classic SF story which I found myself liking a lot more than I was expecting. Not perfect by any means, the story was a bit shonky from time to time. The whole 'Homeland Security' plotline was very very shaky and called for some real soap opera, 'as you very well know' type writing to get on it's feet quickly, but the sequences with the kids discovering what the toys could do were wonderful. No guns (almost), no explosions, no stupid car chases, no adults humiliated to make kids laugh, and no real 'Baddies' to hiss and boo. A grown-up tale for kids (almost). Daughter Number Two was enraptured.
  12. The Night Evelyn Came out of the Grave - La notte che Evelyn uscì dalla tomba (1971) - again. Second time I've watched this bit of Italian 70's Eurosleaze this year. (And the second copy I have bought.) This time though I could actually see what what happening on the screen. Compare this screen capture to the one from the previous copy I suffered back in February:

    A transfer so crappy the film jumped the gate in the telecine machine at a reel change.

    Being able to see what was happening didn't help much. It was still incomprehensible shite.


Blogger Phoebe said...

#5 - I have this comic book. Do you really want to read it? Lemme know.

5:24 PM  
Blogger Phoebe said...

Oh and #6... is that a satirical loofah, too? Or does it make the tits satirical?

5:26 PM  

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